The benefits of “Church Grandparents”

What do I mean by “Church Grandparents”? These are people within the church who are the Grandparent generation; who consider themselves to be of grandparent age. The group “Parenting for Faith” explains that you are important and influential just because you’re a grandparent – not because you live nearby, or know theology, but just because you’re a grandparent. Your intrinsic value is in being. Grandparents are important for children’s wellbeing, for better mental health, for resilience, peer relationships, being better members of society, for transmitting values.

The importance of extended families:

In the Bible we find examples of children being raised by extended families.

When the Lord Jesus was twelve years old, his parents thought that they had lost him, not because they were neglectful and didn’t notice, but because they travelled in extended family groups and would have believed that their son was with other family members.

Luke 2:41-44

⁴¹ Every year Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem for the Festival of the Passover. ⁴² When he was twelve years old, they went up to the festival, according to the custom. ⁴³ After the festival was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. ⁴⁴ Thinking he was in their company, they travelled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. 

Perhaps God’s plan all along has been for us to live in family communities. We live in an age where families are dispersed all around the country, or even the world. Families are desperate for the influence of surrogate grandparents to fill this vital role which brings such great benefits to their children. We need our church grandparents!

Valuing what’s important in life:

LOVE = TIME

Taking time to say hello, to smile, to have a chat, to show a magic trick, to show something in church.

Grandparents have time and few expectations, apart from wanting their grandchild to be happy - no pressure. The child is loved because they are loved. Parents can get so caught up in homework, grades, timetables, but Grandparents are one step removed and can focus on loving and spending quality time with Grandchildren. Children love time and attention being spent on them and it makes a very positive imprint in their psyche.

Honorary grandparents have a vital role to play in praying for the children and families in our church. We pray for our biological grandchildren and we can offer the same gift for our church family and parish grandchildren.

Learning from church Grandparents:

Children can learn so much in church by looking, exploring, listening and imbibing. They can also learn so much from us too – from how we welcome them, speak with them, engage with them and share with them.

Deuteronomy 6: 4-7

⁴ Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.^[a] 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. ⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 

In this passage we recognise God’s call to share our faith with the next generations. This is a responsibility for all of us – not just the Priest or Pioneer Minister – and it can be a great joy! Our stories of faith in God matter – even if we think they are small or insignificant, they matter, and families love to hear them.

Accepting differences:

Grandparents are acutely aware of the difference in culture between themselves and their grandchildren. Grandchildren are digital natives whilst Grandparents tend to be digital immigrants. Grandchildren use Snapchat and Instagram whilst Grandparents enjoy postcards and landline phone calls. The acceptance of these differences, and the opportunities these afford to listen to and learn from each other, apply to differences within church too. Grandparents may prefer church organs and hymns and Grandchildren might love modern songs with drums and electric guitars and vice versa. Grandparents might like a traditional Eucharist and Grandchildren like to learn through play and exploration. Whatever the differences, we can accept them and learn from each other.

Thank you

Thank you to all our church Grandparents. I heard a story of church Grandparent – namely my mother-in-law – who recently passed away. It was wonderful to read cards from families saying that they had come to the church because of the great welcome she gave them and to hear that she had been praying for several children in the church. She influenced their lives and leaves a legacy of love and kindness in many families. May we reach out to our church families, to children of all ages, and may we leave a legacy of love in their lives too.